Oh My Goodness.....

I haven't been sick like that in awhile! Just for the record.. vomitting spaghetti is an experience I shall not forget!!! =) Wow..I seriously lost 5 lbs. Not even joking!
I know I'm already a night owl...but I was really really hoping for a good nights sleep!!! =( I am so bright eyed and ready to eat something...it's frustrating! =( This is so not good cause I have to be at work earlier than usual tomorrow. Uugghh. Oh well..just know you were prayed for in the wee hours of the morning night...

Feeling like me again....

All I can say is....Praise the Lord!!! =) I am feeling like me again. I'm not chasing after friendships....there's not one person of the opposite sex I am interested in....but I am resting in the Lord. I'm so done chasing after any kind of idol! It feels so great. There is so much joy. I feel so free... I have been through some tough places...mostly due to my stupidity...and not that there aren't more around the corner...but it just feels so good to be me again. In odd ways I have been stripped of some relationships. I praise Him for it. I am so full of joy and I know it's because the Lord has healed my heart! He has shown Himself faithful and that only He can be what I need. He has made me whole! I know He is so much better..than ANY relationship. I had breakfast with a dear dear friend who is a bit older than myself and I asked her about her singleness--since she is about to head overseas. She just reminded me that Paul said it's better to be single....she decided maybe there was something to that...if Paul said it...it's in the Bible.....the Bible is true...then maybe she should start believing it. What struck me is how precious it is to take the Bible as truth. It gives life and sustains. So...I am finding the joy in being single. Believing that as long as God has given me this gift...it must be better. So far it has been better...especially when I hear of my friends who are in hard marriages, divorced, or in a hard relationship but won't get out because they fear being alone. The single life must be so much better than being in a wrong relationship!
I am finding fun and joy! I am completely 100 percent myself these days. I just figure if God has someone for me......he will have to work for this girl......I am so done doing ANYTHING!!
So what if He has to climb a wall....that's what men were created to do..climb walls and slay dragons!! =)

Obedience Brings Blessing....

I am so thankful to finally and completely yield something to God. I feel so free tonight. I have such peace that trancends all understanding...and I know that this choice will bring life. I will forget what lies behind and press on towards the call of Christ....even if it means walking alone.

Job....

Job 11:13-20
"Yet if you devote your heart to Him
and stretch out your hands to Him,
if you put away the sin that is in your hand
and allow no evil to dwell in your tent,
then you will lift up your face without shame;
you will stand firm without fear.
You will surely forget your trouble,
recalling it only as waters gone by.
Life wil be brighter than noonday,
and darkness will become like morning.
You will be secure, because there is hope;
you will look about you and take your rest in safety.
You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid,
and many will court your favor.
But the eyes of the wicked will fail,
and escape will elude them;
their hope will become a dying gasp."

Some Reflections.....

I am so thankful for a new year....a new begining. I am very much in need of one. A friend of mine shared a verse that is taking him into the new year....and I really like it. "Forgetting what lies behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal."(Phi. 3:13 b,14)
Another passage that stands out in my mind is one that Matt taught on two weeks ago. I haven't been able to shake it. II Timothy 2..."be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus." I know as I approach this next year...there are many things that I hope to change..but as Matt pointed out...I can't will myself to do them...the power to change comes from the grace in Christ Jesus..his gospel. That I am covered in all my efforts and failures. Paul goes on to say "endure hardship with us like a good solider of Christ Jesus. No soldier gets involved...or entangled in the affairs of civilian life--because he wants to please his commanding officer. Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not recieve a victor's crown unless he competes according to the rules. I was very convicted because in so many ways I have broken rules this past year. Lastly...The hardworking farmer should be the first to recieve a share of the crops. To this Matt pointed out..it's not the lazy farmer who sits on his couch and prays for God to remove weeds that gets a crop....but the farmer who gets up at sunrise and toils and crys out to God...pleads for God to bless his effort...bless this crop. This man...is completely dependent on God. Surely this man will receive a crop.

This has been playing over and over in my mind for two weeks. As I was sitting in church...and in my time of reflection over this..how much I wished I could say I was the hard working farmer....but I have been lazy. Wanting God to move and work in my life..but not putting forth the effort I should. I have broken rules...I have built idols. ..

"to place sacrifices at the feet of idols, she destroys her temple. There are no golden calves or statues of Baal hidden in her home, but look in the secrets of her heart, the hidden places of her insecurities and her idols abound. Idols and temples are not made of brick, stone, or gold. Everyday actions, so routine they become a part of who we are. We cannot recognize the idolatry in our own behavior, much less that we are the sacrifice."(1)

Idolatry is a divided heart.

"The greatest consquence of living with a divided heart is the eventual inability to know which love will bring life and which will bring death.(2)

~Who Calls Me Beautiful:Regina Franklin (1. pg 61 2. pg. 65)

So I come this new year....in hopes of not being as James says...the double minded man unstable in all his ways....but I pray and hope to be able to live as if "whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them but rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in-the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. The last part scares me...because to truly know Christ..the power of His resurrection is to also know his suffering....becoming like Him in death...to attain resurrection from the dead.
I really pray that at the end of this year...2009 I will find my heart closer to God.... with less idols in my life... and striving hard for what lies ahead.
I have taken on the challenge of reading through the whole Bible this year. As I have started out I am already seeing the blessing of cultivating my heart...with the Word of God. I have had to say no to some places and people....but already my heart is being renewed and I pray that mind will be transformed as well.
Blessings and Peace to you this new year. I pray that your heart will be stirred with new and deeper affection for Christ as well. I pray that together we can spur one another on to love and good deeds...all the more until the day of Christ Jesus.

Love this...

I am lost for words...I just know I want to know Him more...to be more like Him...I am reflecting much over my life and pray to be more like Jesus Christ. I love this song..and it says what I long for...

More Than A Friend......