More Love...More of Him in my Life

...this is my only need. More of Jesus Christ. I have been very awakened...shaken at how I have been in relationship with Christ for so long and without even realizing it.....I have stopped loving God to the depth that I have.....that I could. I have taken His grace, mercy, forgiveness, joy, unrelenting love for granted. My heart is grieved. I have been trying to figure out how my heart ended up here...and as I have been reading this new book....Crazy Love. Chan gave the best example of what I believe I has happened.

"In our world, where hundreds of things distract us from God, we have to intentionally remind ourselves of Him. I recently attended my highschool reunion. People kept coming up to me and saying..She's your wife?..they were amazed, I guess, that a woman so beautiful would marry someone like me. It happened enough times that I took a good look at a photograph of the two of us. I too was taken aback. It is astonishing that my wife chooses to be with me--and not just because she is beautiful. I was reminded of the fullness I was given in my wife.We need the same sort of reminders about God's goodness.......We forget we already have everything we need in Him. We are bombarded and programmed to focus on what we don't have....and we transfer this to God as well. We don't think often enough about the reality of who God is, we quickly forget that He is worthy to be worshipped and loved. (Crazy Love, p.29 Chan)

I have been so unfair...unjust....to do this to such a loving and good God. The God who relentlessly seeks my affection...while I have been preoccupied...forgetful... to even realize the amazingness that He is....that He is here. He loves me more than I will ever comprehend. I know that I need nothing else.
I was reading in Luke 7:36-50....one of my favorite passages. I pray to be like this woman....to understand the depth of my sin. Everytime I read this passage...no matter how many times..the verses at the end always stand out.

"Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little..loves little. "

I don't want to have a -little love- for my God....my Savior...others. I want a BIG love....a CRAZY love for my Jesus..my God..my Holy Spirit. I want to love others with this same kind of love.

...."Love the Lord your God with all your heart...with all your soul.....with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment (Matt.22:37,38)

The result is prayer...Bible study.....and loving others.

May I not be found...half hearted...luke warm....partially commited. Otherwise my life is wasted...and I will have missed out on the greatest lover to ever have pursued my soul.